Last week I read this list of points that someone had written about what they had learnt about life now they were in their 40s and could reflect back with experience and wisdom. Having turned 40 almost a year ago, the title of the article caught my attention and then I kept reading.
Points 20 and 23 really resonated with me and especially point 26 about friendships. In the last 12 months, I have drifted apart from a good friend and yes it feels odd but I can also see now we are on very different journeys.
Have I mastered every one on this list? absolutely no. I am really struggling with point number 2 today. Do I always listen without jumping in my head to give an answer or solution? Do I really give my children the listening attention they would like?
I loved this list as it made me take time to reflect and also to focus more on living a life which has many of these elements in it. One day at a time.
1. It's OK to say no as long as you learn the art of doing so graciously.
2. Don't waste time worrying and moaning about stuff you have no control over. Let it go.
3. Everything you see depends on how you look at it.
4. Stop comparing your insides to everyone else's outsides.
5. Listening to someone -- really listening -- is one of the most important, respectful and rewarding things you can do.
6. It's awesome to collect people throughout life, but you're truly blessed if you have a handful of besties who will always, always have your back. Even if you don't speak to them all that often, you know they're there.
7. The morning after is rarely -- if ever -- worth the night before.
8. No one gives a crap if you go to the supermarket in sweats without makeup and your unwashed hair in a ponytail on top of your head.
9. Experiences are infinitely more memorable than stuff.
10. Confidence is beautiful and powerful.
11. Laugh lines are worth it.
12. It will always boggle your mind how some people will exceed the lowest imaginable depth of stupidity, incompetence and nastiness, while others will exceed the highest imaginable pinnacle of kindness, compassion and helpfulness.
13. Don't live your life by anyone else's expectations, taste, hopes or dreams.
14. If you rely on others for joy, you will never be joyful yourself.
15. Grudges aren't worth it.
16. You'll never regret going out of your way to brighten someone's day.
17. "Please" and "thank you" are always appreciated and appropriate.
18. Tell the little self-sabotaging voice in your head to bug off.
19. The food doesn't matter. The table settings don't matter. All that matters is the company.
20. Being super-busy is not a badge of honor, importance, popularity or success. It's perfectly OK -- and actually healthier and preferable -- to be not so busy.
21. Despite your delusions, you have absolutely no idea what's happening behind other people's doors.
22. Most bad behavior and bitterness is rooted in jealousy.
23. What makes you happy isn't the elixir that will make someone else happy.
24. It's not always someone else's fault. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror.
25. You can disagree with someone's opinions and beliefs, but it doesn't make them wrong. And it's probably best just not to go there when it has to do with religion, politics or love.
26. Friendships change over time. Sometimes they have an expiration date and they dissolve into fuzziness. And that's OK.
27. Eye cream is your friend.
28. Stop waxing poetic about how good it used to be. Stop fantasizing about how good it might be in the future. Savor how good it is right now. Make your moments matter.
29. It's nice to be thought of and remembered.
30. Sometimes you've gotta do stuff just because it's the right thing to do. Often it's uncomfortable. Usually it's inconvenient. But it's almost always worth it.
31. Elephants don't belong in the room. Having the tough conversation is ultimately better than living with the energy-sapping misery of resentment or misunderstanding.
32. Some stuff just isn't meant to be. The sooner you accept it and stop trying to force it to happen, the better off you'll be.
33. The solution to someone else's problem that seems so obvious to you is likely something they've already tried and it hasn't worked.
34. A good night's sleep is a gift from the heavens and can change everything.
35. People will make time for you if you're important to them. And they pretty much won't if you're not.
36. Sometimes you need to suck it up hard in the name of love, peace and harmony.
37. Don't let angry people get to you; instead, try to muster some compassion for them.
38. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Stop wasting energy on stuff that isn't your business. You just do you.
39. Accept, embrace and celebrate change.
40. Being polite and smiling genuinely can make a big difference.
41. Stillness is restorative and healing.
42. Take one day at a time, one step at a time. Break down challenges into small, do-able chunks. It will all get done.
43. Life is what happens while you're waiting expectantly for the next big thing on the horizon to come to fruition. Savor the everyday.
44. If you push yourself and focus on what's good rather than wallowing selfishly in the negative, things will almost always improve.
45. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it isn't immediately apparent, but in time, and with reflection, the reason usually becomes clear. And often it's so extraordinary and breathtaking, it'll blow you away.
46. No matter how much you wish, you can't will things to happen. But often, there's a better and "righter" path that reveals itself if you keep your eyes and mind open.
47. Take a risk and have the guts to seize the opportunity, because it may not present itself again
On a journey to live the best sparkling life possible. Brit living in Denmark, mum to two amazing little people, Navy girlfriend, jazz lover, exploring yoga, buddhism and living healthy.